| On the internet: | Ugh I hate people so much |
| Applying for a job: | I love working with people and I'm very sociable |
| olympic gymnast: | jumps 20 feet in the air, defies all laws of physics, does 10 backflips, defeats voldemort, comes back down and lands perfectly on the balance beam while fireworks go off in the background |
| me: | falls on face trying to put socks on |
